I usually enjoy going to Puget Sound Veterans Administration. I enjoy watching the old timers and love the sense of camaraderie that binds us and sometimes I’m almost brought to tears with the sight of amputees and wheelchairs.
Today, was not one of those days. I have Bronchiectasis an unresolved lung disease and I went to see my pulmonologist. Apparently, there is no cure for this ailment, but my treatment has primarily focused on albuterol with a nebulizer accompanied by blowing into a flutter valve. Currently I am not making any progress, constant coughing is endemic to this disease and I’m tired of coughing all the time.
Today, I thought it was important that my pulmonologist understood how frustrated I have become. My hope that she would accelerate my treatment since I know that there are other treatments. I had taken a lung function test on March 8th and expected that to be our starting point. We talked, and I noted that I thought my lung function test was poor. She observed that she did not have the results of my lung function test; thus, adding to my frustration. She continued down her check list with I’m sorry that information was not available. Me? I’m wondering why I’m here.
I then asked her if she was aware of the CT scan that was done in February, in which, I was told that my lungs walls were thicker than my previous test and with more mucous. She acknowledged that information and continued her checklist. Again, I commented how frustrating that she didn’t have that information. I then stated, “I don’t want to die at 80 and no one knows why’. No response, so I repeated the statement again and said I guess if nothing happens, “I’ll just have to haunt you”. No laugh but a very serious Dr. then accused me of threatening her.
Now I’m not only frustrated but I’m confused. Someone in 2018 really taking “haunting” as a threat?”
I realize that this was an attempt to control the situation/me, but I was offended. I am a 6′, 267 lb. Black man from a small town in Kansas. I am not a witch doctor, nor do I practice voodoo (I do have a sense of humor). We agreed that maybe I should work with one of her colleagues, but I cannot let this incident go by unnoticed or unchallenged.
On the other hand, I won’t talk about being called a “darky” by this homeless man this evening.
Thank you for listening.